dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
