K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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