Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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