Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
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