cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
