How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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