Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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