so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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