Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
areolas are like halos for boobs.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
