its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
