So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
