i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
