The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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