He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
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