After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Randomize
