she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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