i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
