I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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