Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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