just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
