We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
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