you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
