i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
