We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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