My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
FUCK WHALES
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