id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
