Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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