Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
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