Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Randomize
