Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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