Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
