Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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