margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
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