already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Randomize
