I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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