I think I am morally bankrupt
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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