Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
