This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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