Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
