Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
