it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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