so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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