thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
