spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
