Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
you made out with another girl for some wings
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
