a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
She announced her abortion via fbk
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
