i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
