College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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