thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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