with your own penis?
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
