Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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