Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
The beer is more important than you right now.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
