If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
