i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i think i have two assholes
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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