the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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