im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
